A Little Life Update || TW: miscarriage

I think it’s safe to say that 2020 didn’t exactly go as planned and by the time the year was over, 2021 felt like a fresh start. While we weren’t exactly out of the woods with the pandemic, there was hope for a light at the end of the tunnel. Here in Ontario, that tunnel seemed to get a little longer as months in lockdown continued to pass by, but overall, the heaviness of the previous year was slowly lifting.

Turns out, 2021 isn’t really going as planned either. To be honest, I’m not even really sure I went into this year WITH a plan but I know that writing this blog definitely wasn’t part of it. Even though I’ve been sharing pieces of my life on the internet for the last 15 years or so, being vulnerable with how I’m REALLY feeling and what I’m actually going through is not usually something I do. So while this is a little foreign to me, reading and listening to these types of experiences from others has made me feel somehow better and a little less intimidated to open up and share myself.

SO… Here goes..

Mid March of this year, we found out we were pregnant. My partner and I finally decided sometime at the end of 2020 that we were open to this new chapter of our lives, so having it happen so quickly came with a whirlwind of emotions. Never having been down this path before, I always wondered if we’d be able to conceive easily or if I could conceive at all .. So I was instantly relieved and grateful and excited and nervous all at the same time. It’s wild how suddenly consumed I felt with this news and how nothing else mattered but learning how to take on this new adventure. I don’t know if it’s part of some biological clock but it was as if my brain and emotions automatically reprioritized everything to make room for this new life.

That entire week was a blur. I quickly learned more than I’d ever known about pregnancy through any site I could find, bought the classic “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book for some light reading over the next 9 months, I even bought a few baby clothes because quite frankly, I just couldn’t help it. But just as quickly as our life changed paths, my body decided it wasn’t time, and it was as if we were snapped back to life before anything ever changed.

To say I was sad is an understatement. I don’t think I’ve ever actually felt as sad I felt the day I knew for sure this wasn’t a viable pregnancy. I try to make myself feel better by reminding myself how early it was (just over 5 weeks), that I couldn’t have done anything at that point to prevent it from happening, and that miscarriages are so much more common than it often seems… but to create a new reality and then have it suddenly ripped away …was absolutely devastating.

The kicker after going through that emotional roller coaster, is continuing normal life afterwards.. almost as though nothing happened. It began and ended so quickly that I hadn’t really had a chance to tell anyone anything, so for the most part my boyfriend and I silently navigated the following weeks, healing together. If there was anything I learned between the time of my first positive home pregnancy test to the day I finally felt back to myself after our loss, is that my partner is going to be the greatest and most supportive partner/husband/father I ever could have asked for. So, as my body started to feel back to normal, I knew that we would try again as soon as we could. Just because it didn’t happen yet, didn’t mean it wouldn’t, just meant our timeline was off.

Fast forward to the last day of May and a fresh new big fat positive home pregnancy test. This felt surreal and suddenly the previous few months just felt like a bad dream that was melting away. I was wary to get too ahead of myself but also felt cautiously optimistic and excited. March was still fresh in my mind but this felt like a new beginning, or rather like we were resuming the chapter we had previously tried to start. While I felt like surely nothing would go wrong this time, I also felt like if, on the off chance it didn’t stick a second time, like I’d be ready for it.

Spoiler alert. It didn’t stick for a second time which, surprise surprise, I wasn’t ready for. I cried while the doctor went over everything with me. I cried walking through hospital. I cried outside of the hospital. I cried in my boyfriend’s arms. I cried when I got home. And sometimes I still randomly cry.

I only shared what happened with a select few friends. My baby sister knew about the first one. My other sister knew about the second one. But for some reason I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell my parents. There were a few times where I just wanted my mom. I can safely say that in my adult life, I’ve been able to navigate most tough things pretty independently, but this was one of the few that I felt like mom really would make everything better. But it actually took me a few weeks to finally talk to her about it. My parents don’t have any grandkids yet. Actually neither do my boyfriend’s parents. This would have been their first and I KNOW, that both sides of our families are waiting. But I didn’t want their first grandchild experience to be one of loss. Twice. As much as I wished I could have given my parents different news, sharing this with my mom definitely lifted some of the weight of the experience.

Today. I am healing. Physically, I feel like I’m 99% back to myself. Emotionally, probably about the same. If I think about it too much, I feel sadness. Still the saddest sad I’ve probably ever felt. But I know that I’ll be okay. That we’ll be okay. I know in my heart, we’ll grow a family someday soon, but my body, for whatever reason, wasn’t ready for it yet. I’m eager to find some answers with my doctor so that maybe next time we might have different results, but am also giving myself time to revisit the possibility.

No one imagines loss to be part of their story when they start the process of growing a family, but the reality is that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Nobody expects to be that 1. I didn’t expect to be that 1. Let alone twice. This year. Ever. And as much as I didn’t ever expect this, I wasn’t even sure I would share it when it happened. After the first one, I wanted to focus my efforts on trying again so that we could find a happy ending out of it all. After this second one I realized that part of my strength getting over this came from other women who were open enough to share their experiences. I’m not sure when you’ll read this, because I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be ready to share.. But if you’re reading this and going through it, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. This was not a club any of us asked to be part of, but know that you’re not alone.

Though it’s been a heavy few months, I’m doing my best not to dwell on what’s happened. I’m thankful that each of my experiences has been as early as they were. I wouldn’t wish loss in any form on anyone, ever, and my heart goes out to women who experience this at any stage of pregnancy.

I’m thankful that we’ve been able to get pregnant easily. I know for some, just getting to that positive test is a journey in itself and I can’t even imagine the patience and strength that takes. If this is you, know you are strong and you’ve got this. ❤

Finally. I’m thankful for everything I’ve learned through all this. About this whole process. About my partner. About myself. Definitely not my preferred learning method but I know that the universe generally works in strange ways so. I guess I should let it work.

Anyways. Like I said, 2021 hasn’t exactly gone as planned so far. I have so many more emotions and thoughts I’m not sure I can fit into any more words (or if any of these words actually make much sense), so I’ll leave this one here. My inbox/DM’s are open. Talking about this to a few people in my innermost circle has helped me heal, but also like I said, reading about or listening to other women’s similar experiences has made me feel less alone. Even when I try to make it seem like “it wasn’t that bad” because it was “so early,” it’s helped to remind me that my feelings, emotions and experiences are valid.

Also, if you made it this far. Thank you. ❤

Power Jumpsuit

As soon as I put this jumpsuit on for the first time, my first thought was Well.. If we end up having a courthouse wedding any time soon, at least I’ll have something to wear. THAT BEING SAID.. No.. There was no secret wedding and this wasn’t my courthouse bride look. Ya girl is still waiting for a ring!!

So why did I get all dressed up this week?! We’re still in the middle of a stay-at-home order here in Ontario. This outfit, head to toe, gives me such boss bitch vibes and I am ALL about it. It makes me feel like a powerful executive running things from her fancy office with a view… buuuut I’m still working from home. From my couch. *womp womp*

This whole look would also lend itself well to a boujee brunch party.. for whenever we get those back again. Socializing with friends, sipping mimosas, and ordering avocado toast that I could make for a fraction of the price at home. Oh how thrilled I would be to go out for brunch!

To be honest, I would be thrilled to wear this outfit just about anywhere. Which is why I decided to get dressed up to go pick up pizza, then promptly took it off upon returning home so as not to get any pizza ON it lol.. It was a little short lived but so worth it, and now that the weather is getting nicer, don’t be surprised to see me strolling through the park in something equally as powerful. Life is too short for all my outfits to go unworn.

Shop the Look:
Jumpsuit: Alloy Apparel (I just checked and it is currently out of stock, but hopefully they restock this gem!!)
Blazer: originally Asos (out of stock), but Alloy Apparel has an amazing statement blazer that I’m obsessed with!!
Boots: originally Missguided (out of stock), similar pair from Asos
Earrings: found similar option with crystal detail on Asos
Necklace: originally Missguided

Loungewear Forever (or at least until lockdown ends)

If you’re from anywhere outside of Ontario, Canada, I’m a little jealous. We’re in lockdown number 3 or 4.. or 5?.. I’ve lost count. Lliving in Toronto, we technically haven’t come out of lockdown (though what that looks like has changed MANY times) since November and I’ve been working at home since I switched to my new job in September.

Needless to say, my need for anything (fashion related) other than loungewear is very low right now. I strive to be comfortable, but also cute enough so that if I have to make a grocery run, or need a little midday walk, I’m still moderately put together. I’m a little sad because I miss putting together statement outfits, but finding statement loungewear is filling that void 🙂

So what do you like to do to take loungewear from your home office, or couch, to the street? My easiest solution is adding a jacket and a great sneaker or boot. As soon as it starts to get warmer I’m excited to add blazers into the mix. And maybe by then I’ll be able to start styling other outfits too lol.. but at the rate things are going here, I’m afraid to get my hopes up.

I was wearing this Alloy Apparel set in a Small (in both sizes), but the Black set seemed to fit a bit tighter.

Top: both colours
Pants: black, tye-dye

If any of you are in the same boat, I hope you’re able to maintain some sense of sanity through all this, and if you’re working from home, able to stay equal parts cute AND cozy 🙂

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you in advance if you choose to shop through them <333

Am I late to the Shacket Train?

I don’t know if I’ve just never paid attention but I recently came across the term “shacket.” I mean, the term makes perfect sense.. It’s a shirt/jacket! (duh).. but are these new?? Or have I just had my head in the clouds? ……..let’s not make any tall jokes here….

Either way, I recently did a little wardrobe refresh as we start to move into Spring and added a few transition items from Missguided to my wardrobe, including a few shackets as we come into Spring, and I LOVE THEM! I paired the tall gray longline brushed check shacket with a pair of Missguided palazzo pants and boots that I’ve owned now for a few years.

*This blog is not sponsored but does contain affiliate links. Thank you in advance if you choose shop via the links I’ve shared ❤

Just Get Dressed

Without an actual end in sight, this pandemic has made it difficult to feel motivated. I know we all feel it. I know I’m not the only one here. Quite frankly, knowing that the majority of the world is going through this together has been a strange source of comfort.

My days have all essentially blurred together. Even working from home isn’t really doing much to break up the week. But everyyyy couple of days I realize I haven’t actually gotten dressed in awhile (oops!) and for a brief moment I’m human and life feels (semi) normal again.

My latest delivery from Alloy Apparel* couldn’t have come at a better time. I don’t have anywhere to go or anyone to see, but the simple act of putting together outfits keeps me sane in a time when the entire world feels a little bit insane.

I hope you’re all staying safe and staying sane, and that soon we’ll be gifted a little light at the end of the longest, darkest tunnel. And if you’re feeling a little down, just get dressed. I promise, it makes a difference ❤ xxxx

*I’ve been working with Alloy Apparel on a gifted-with-product basis. Though I am not paid to post, I’ve included affiliate links in the photo captions.

Missguided Tall

Anyone who has been following me on my socials has probably caught on to my slight obsession with Missguided’s Tall range. It’s one of the first Tall options I came across when I started exploring other tall options and have always kept my eye on them. While they don’t always quite get the tall stamp of approval from this 6’2 glamazon, they’re extra length is often passable.

Not too long ago, I was in touch with Missguided and they gave me a gift card to spend on some of their fall pieces in exchange for posts on my socials. Obviously, I was stoked to take them up on the offer, and shared my choices and a few thoughts over on my YouTube channel, BUT, there were a few things I didn’t talk about.

First of all. Their tall range is for babes who are “5’7 and taller.” I think I’ve shared this here before, but I’m sorry.. what about the girls who are 6’+??Might I suggest a taller range, or one that includes multiple inseam options. Tall doesn’t just mean longer pants, but a little length added everywhere. A lot of us aren’t just tall in the legs lol..

Another thing.. When I was shopping for that specific haul, I made the mistake of initially browsing their site without limiting my search to their “tall” range, and let me tell you, the amount of options available to the average height FAR surpasses the options available to me. For example, many of the collab releases don’t get offered entirely in Tall sizes. We all know that finding TRENDY tall items can be difficult, and while Missguided has definitely done their part to bridge that gap in the tall market (continuing to offer more and more options), after looking at everything else they have to offer, they could definitely do better.

I used to think that perhaps there wasn’t enough demand for tall items as an explanation to why I couldn’t find “cool” pieces for my height, but the growing tall communities across the internet tells me otherwise. Missguided makes fashion accessible and affordable (especially with its constant sale offerings), and it would be rad to see that translated equally across all the ranges it offers.

I’d love to know your thoughts on this. Let me know if you’re a Missguided stan, if you prefer a different tall range, or if you avoid fast fashion altogether.

Shop Missguided for yourself with my personal affiliate link: https://tinyurl.com/MissguidedTall

xoxo

A mall for tall?!

Last week while I was reminiscing over past work with Long Tall Sally, and thinking about alternatives to LTS upon their closing announcement, I was reminded of another tall brand that I had the opportunity to work with early in my blogging days, that also had to close. Who remembers Tallgirls??

Blazer dress and leggings, both from TallGirlsUK

Though they were a much smaller brand, they still carried quite a few pieces that I still wear today. I was a little gutted that they had to close doors because as a tall girl, we can only hope to have MORE tall options, never less. About a year after they went out of business, owner Joanne Champion decided to refocus her efforts and open up a slightly different initiative, The Tall Collective. Instead of focusing on just one brand, she created a “tall mall” to feature multiple independent tall retailers, all shoppable in one space (currently tailored to the European market with plans to expand to US retailers and shoppers as well).

There’s no doubt that the closing of LTS opens up a window of opportunity for every independant tall brand to grow and expand to fill the gap that will be left in the tall fashion scene. I’m hopeful that brands such as MPG and Yoga Jeans who have supplied Long Tall Sally with exclusive tall fits, look to alternatives such as The Tall Collective to continue supplying these fits as opposed to just eliminating their tall options altogether.

Just because one door has closed, I believe that many more could open and I’m excited to see how the tall retail community grows in the near future! In the meantime, I’ve gathered a few of my fave Tallgirls pieces that I’ve discovered are STILL AVAILABLE over on The Tall Collective!

“Denim Slim Leg Play Suit Mid Blue” (not available in black anymore)
“Dropped Waist Dress Olive”
“Stripe Long Line Shirt White/Blue”

Until next week,

xx

Supporting Black-owned TALL brands

This post is not about me. Or my feelings. Or my closet. I can’t tell you about my latest outfit faves when I feel like there’s a much more important conversation to be part of. While I continue to listen and learn and find ways to take action, it only makes sense to occupy this space by amplifying the voices (and brands) that need to be heard!

This week I’m choosing to celebrate Black-owned brands right here in our very own tall community. Choosing to support these brands is one way to help redistribute wealth in the fight for racial and financial equality, and friends, there are so many amazing options when it comes to tall clothing that THIS SHOULD BE A NO-BRAINER. There are endless resources available to find smaller, black-owned businesses and brands, whether it’s local or online (obviously for more than just clothing options), and making a conscious effort to find them, and put your money towards them is one of SO many ways you can contribute to change.

My list had a head start because a handful of these were already on my “To-Shop” list. But as the week went on, and fellow glamazons also started sharing some of their lists, I’ve discovered so many more and OMG.. when I have my job back, my bank account better get ready. Prepare yourself 🙂

  1. The Sixes – I’ve been eyeing this shop for awhile. Fashion forward and chic pant silhouettes to give tall fashionistas the #fashionfreedom they’ve been looking for. I’m in love.
  2. Rhonda Lynette – I already own 3 pieces by Rhonda that, as soon as I received them, could tell that they were all sewn with love and such attention to detail. She makes everything herself! Her joggers are the next on my list 🙂
  3. Wexist Inc. – They recently launched the cutest jogger sets, and also have a collection of tall print tees. Looking forward to see this one grow!!
  4. Jesse Queen the Collection – “Dress well because of your height, not in spite of it.” Another brand that has been on my “to-shop” list for far too long. Her pieces. Are. FIRE! My problem will be that I just don’t know what to get first.
  5. Talle Apparel – I slept on a gorgeous animal print dress when they first launched but they’re still on my list to shop, with dress, pant, co-ord, and jumpsuit options!
  6. Model Atelier – I first learned about them when they sent me their “model bag” a few years back. They have a little bit of everything now, but their blazer options are gorgeous and sophisticated silhouettes for a professional lady!
  7. Taylor Jay Collection – Sustainable, environmentally conscious, designed with every woman in mind. Though it’s not tall specific, I’ve seen Alicia Jay sporting some of her pieces so I can only assume it’s got the tall girl stamp of approval 🙂
  8. Nineth Closet – This one is new to me but I was drawn instantly by all the pieces in their ‘resort’ collection. Must. Have.
  9. Height Goddess – Print tees and maxi dresses for glamazons.
  10. Tall Long and Curvy – I’ve yet to try her fitness leggings, but if you’re looking for length while building those curves, these look great!
  11. TTYA London – I found TTYA through their Long Tall Sally collab.. My fave collab still to date so I don’t know why I haven’t shopped them directly. That needs to change.
  12. Prissy Duck – relatively new on my radar, but from what I’ve seen, they’ve got all sorts of sophisticated options!
  13. Dimiloc – Specializing in all things maxi, offering standard, tall, AND extra tall sizing options!
  14. Rozana LDN – Another new to me brand. For the tall women who are tired of trying to blend in.
  15. Tall Moi – Brand new to me! Love their reversible fits, and LOOOVE their commitment to sustainable fashion.
  16. Tall Girl Gang Co – A tshirt line designed as a simple reminder that TALL is BEAUTIFUL. They’re also brand new to me and I’m a little sad to see their biker short set is sold out!
  17. Glamazon Boutique – Graphic tees, pants and jumpsuit options for us glamazons!
  18. Shop Ashley Raye – Another brand new to me brand (I’m so excited there have been so many this week) where sexy meets sophistication. I’m excited that I’ve added this one to my list!
  19. VeRaf Clothing – Unique and stylish with options for every budget!
  20. Chelbe Fashions – “Sleeves that go the length” and inseams up to 37.5″.. uhhh yes and yes!
  21. Tall Luxe – Launching Fall 2020, with inseams up to 39″ in sizes S-2X!!!
  22. A.L.M. Collection – I’ve yet to purchase, but I’ve been obsessing over her extreme bell bottom styles for awhile, with inseams up to 36″!
  23. Tall Exchange – not a brand, but rather a tall specific second hand clothing option, created by one of my fave tall influencers and founder of The Tall Society, Bree Wijnaar.
  24. Tall and Dope – size inclusive athleisurewear as a not so subtle reminder that we can be tall AND dope 🙂
  25. Doux Bebe Kollection – brand new to me!!
  26. Eighth House – From what I can see, a clothing designer making handmade clothing for tall women.. Keeping my eyes on this one to see what comes!
  27. TLZ l’femme – I have to apologize because this brand is NOT tall, but you’ll probably forgive me when you see why I included them. I’ve come across this brand this last week (thank you instagram), and I’M OBSESSED. This is the type of brand I would make work with my height. Think streetwear meets couture meets statement. Just look. You’ll see.
  28. Reign Swim – Not necessarily tall specific, but this swimwear brand provides fuller bust options which I’ve recently been hunting for because I’m tired of settling for swimwear that doesn’t fit me. I’ve yet to add any to my collection but I love their simple yet current pieces!
  29. LFD Shop – They haven’t been active from what I can see, since 2018, but keeping on the list in case they make a comeback!
  30. Dellez Fashion – I’m so sad to see they’re no longer active. I own a gorgeous navy suit and pair of skinny jeans made by Dellez and can’t rave about those pieces enough. Leaving this here, in case she makes a comeback ❤

If I’ve left any out that you know of please let me know because I’d love to add them to my list (though I’m not sure my bank account is ready for it lol).. I also decided not to add photos to make you go look for yourself. Check them out. Find them on instagram. Follow them. Like them. Support them. If not now, maybe later, because this isn’t just a moment. It’s an entire movement and we’ve only just begun ❤

Other ways to support and make a difference:
Ways You Can Helphttps://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
Stream to donateYouTube (you can also search ‘stream to donate’ playlists on YouTube for videos that are contributing revenues to #BLM)
The Loveland Foundationhttps://thelovelandfoundation.org/
Support Garment Workershttps://www.supportgarmentworkers.org/

Timeless Fashion with Sumissura

There’s something to be said about classic, timeless pieces. Even though styles come and go, there are certain pieces that will never really get old. Jeans. Leather jackets. Suits. White t-shirts. Personally, I have a bad habit of buying too many statement pieces, but have been making more of an effort to round my wardrobe out with some more versatile classics. Now that I’m in my 30s, I find myself wanting to dress smarter and am learning that the key (for me) is to mix and match styles and pieces to make a finished and polished look. My favourites are outfits that look edgy, but clean. Professional, but daring.

For a few years now, I’ve been falling in love with women’s pantsuits. I think they’re timeless, powerful, and smart. Last year, a company called Sumissura reached out to me and asked if I’d like to try them out, and you can imagine my excitement when I found out that I could get a custom made and tailor fit green velvet tux; a gorgeous marriage between a classic shape with a statement finish.

This year, they reached out again, and I was SO excited with how the last order turned out, I asked if I might be able to try their custom-made trench coats and dresses. I’ve never had a classic trench and I knew that getting one that was made specific to my long limbed sizing would be the only way to go. Later this week I’ll be sharing a complete video on my YouTube channel, with my order process and my first try-on/review like I did with my last order, but I’m spoiling the surprise and letting you know that I LOVE EVERYTHING about this order too.

Trench coats have been around since the first and second World Wars, and have since become fashionable classic pieces throughout the decades. I know that this piece is going to get so much wear for years and years to come. I paired it with one of Sumissura’s flare knee length dresses, another very simple and classic piece. Altogether, this outfit made me feel like such a professional lady! As much as I love my street fashion, I really can’t ignore how sharp and put together an outfit like this makes me feel.

If you’re interested in checking out Sumissura for yourself (and I really think you should because the customization options are almost endless!!!), use my referral link for $25 off your first purchase (applicable to new users only), which will give me $25 off my next purchase — this referral program is open to everyone so you can invite your friends and get that referral bonus too!
If you already have an account but have never ordered, use my code: blgtallmer10 for 10% off your first purchase!!

(I also didn’t get paid for this post or any post regarding Sumissura, but have been gifted my fully customized clothing items for an honest review.)

Anyways, I’m looking forward to having a reason to wear this outfit past my own sidewalk one of these days..
Hope you’re all hanging in there and staying safe and sane if you’re transitioning back to work. Big love,

xx

Staycation Season

Earlier this year, my boyfriend and I had talked about going away for his next birthday (which just passed on May 13). Crazy how things changed SO much and we’ve been mostly confined within the walls of our downtown apartment for the past two months.

We’re extremely lucky to have a bit of private outdoor space (a covered porch on the front, and an uncovered patio on the back of our apartment), and even though the weather has been slow to cooperate, we’ve been doing our best to make it feel less like the space we HAVE to stay in, and more like a space we GET to spend time in.

Now it’s never going to compare to being poolside in a tropical climate, but by adding some greenery, and enjoying some tasty beverages on the few sunny days we’ve had, I’ve gotta say, it hasn’t been too bad. Add a few new bikinis to the mix, and I almost start feeling like this extended time off is a low budget vacation, or staycation rather. So I thought I’d share a few of my recent fave staycation drink choices and bikini options.

First of all, I’m a lover of ciders, so MOST of the sunny days have consisted of drinking a local cider while sunbathing. We often try to grab a few different options every time we pick some up, and I’ve landed on a few that are becoming regular repeats:If it’s not a cider, we generally make some sort of ginger beer and liquor mixed. Our newest favourite is a spiced rum with ginger beer and a cherry apple [non-alcoholic] cider.Finally, just so I can feel like I’m in ultimate vacation mode when the sun comes out, I recently bought a few swimsuits from the ASOS “Fuller Bust” selection, and I am THRILLED! I’ve always had a difficult time finding cute swimwear that fits properly (I typically wear a US 32G give or take depending on style), and have often sacrificed fit for style. They have so many style options for such a broad range of sizes, and now that I know those options exist, feel like I never have to worry about having improperly fitted swimwear again.SHOPPING LINKS (note — each purchase was from the sale section and may no longer be available but there are SO many others to choose from as well)
Animal print swim top: https://bit.ly/3t92tdu
Red bikini top: https://bit.ly/3rGFOoD
Red bikini bottoms: https://bit.ly/3bDvp7u

White bikini top: https://bit.ly/3t9wBFA

White bikini bottom: https://bit.ly/3t6diwI
Avocado Floatie: https://bit.ly/3tgqAHl

Anyways, as I write this the sun seems to be making an appearance from behind the clouds so I guess it’s best I get back to staycation mode.

Until next time,

xx